Building a strong bond with your autistic child is essential, but it can sometimes feel challenging if traditional methods of interaction don’t seem to resonate with them. Autistic children often connect with the world in unique ways, and understanding these differences can help you foster a deeper, more meaningful relationship. Here are some tips on how to bond with your autistic child by respecting their preferences and engaging in ways that feel natural to them.
1. Understand Their Currency
For many autistic children, social interactions are based on a different kind of "currency." Traditional methods of connection, like asking questions to prompt a positive response, may not always work. If you’re getting negative responses, it might be because your interaction isn’t adding value to them. The key is to understand what your child finds valuable in an interaction and adjust your approach accordingly.
2. Follow Their Lead and Be Patient
One of the most effective ways to bond is by following your child’s lead. Observe what they’re interested in and join in on their terms. This might involve imitating their actions and sounds or simply admiring what they’re doing from a distance until you’re invited to interact. It’s important to be patient, available, open, and responsive, allowing your child to guide the pace and nature of the interaction.
3. Use On-Topic Statements
Instead of asking questions, which might feel intrusive to your child, try making on-topic statements that relate to what they’re doing. For example, if your child is playing with blocks, you might say, “That’s a tall tower!” rather than asking, “What are you building?” This approach can feel more supportive and less demanding, making it easier for your child to engage with you.
4. Engage in Parallel Play
If your child isn’t ready for direct interaction, consider playing with similar objects nearby. This form of parallel play allows them to feel your presence without the pressure of direct engagement. You can also narrate or describe their actions as they play, which can provide comfort and validation without requiring them to respond verbally.
5. Use Non-Verbal Communication and Open Body Language
Not all communication has to be verbal. Open body language, such as sitting nearby with a relaxed posture, can signal to your child that you’re available and approachable. Non-verbal cues like smiling, nodding, or mirroring their movements can also help build a connection without the need for words.
6. Create Sensory-Friendly Experiences
Engaging in sensory activities that align with your child’s preferences can be a great way to bond. Whether it’s playing with textured materials, using sensory bins, or exploring calming sensory tools like fidget toys or weighted blankets, these activities can create a soothing and enjoyable experience for both of you. Pay attention to what types of sensory input your child enjoys and incorporate those into your bonding time.
7. Respect Their Need for Space
Sometimes, bonding means giving your child the space they need. Autistic children may feel overwhelmed by too much interaction or physical closeness. It’s important to recognize and respect when they need a break. Allowing your child to retreat to a calm, quiet area when needed can strengthen your bond by showing them that you understand and respect their boundaries.
Final Thoughts
Bonding with your autistic child is about meeting them where they are and finding ways to connect that feel comfortable and natural for them. By understanding their unique “currency” in social interactions, using non-verbal communication, and engaging in sensory-friendly activities, you can build a strong, loving relationship that supports their unique way of experiencing the world.
